Most people will agree that school life was one of the most memorable moments of one's life.Yeah, I know, at that time it may not seem so, but looking back , more often than not, it brings a smile to our faces. Usually, we all have a couple of memories ...which we just cant forget. One such memory of mine is the day..or rather the day when my parents came to collect the report card. They got to hear one standard line from most of my teachers..."She can do much better" In other words, they had an image of a "better" Akeela...obviously totally ignoring the Akeela that was THERE in front of them. Which was rather sad because after some time, I just stopped trying to better myself. I thought that no matter how hard I try..I will never be able to "better" myself or rather live up to their image of me....which btw, was coming from the comparison that they kept making with my older sister. " Your sister is so intelligent, why can't you be like her?" and so on. Well, some were a bit more polite, didn't say it in as many words, but aren't our thoughts reflected in our actions?
Till today...this thought saddens me. Why was I not accepted for who I was? Why was it so important for me to better myself...worse still...be like someone else?? And the best part is that it was not that i was not a good student...I was just not as good as someone else, who happened to be my sister. If only they could accept me as being sometimes bright, sometimes stupid, sometimes lively and sometimes quiet, sometimes creative and sometimes boring., sometimes a leader and sometimes a follower.
And come to think of it...aren't most of us ( atleast those who are normal! ) sometimes this and sometimes that?? So where is the question of living up to your own image..let alone living upto someone else's?? If you cannot possibly remain the same being, as in your thoughts, feelings emotions , behaviour etc...how then can one have only one image? What will happen if we free ourselves of this whole one single image business?? Imagine the multitude of options available to you!! You can be intelligent, patient, uncaring sensitive, ruthless and a million other things. Just imagine the freedom in living without any fear of living up to an image that you have for yourself or that you THINK others have of you!! In other words, you could have a million images!! Or better still you could be image - free!!
Well, sadly nothing much has changed. This week when I went to pick up the report cards of my kids...guess what...I got to hear the same phrase " He can do much better!! "
Like they say " Old habits, die hard!!! "
Many of us are not able to accept others - because we have fear - that if we accept others as they are - then they will stop growing!
ReplyDelete(laughable - but true)
To me when i have no image - of myself or of others - i am also fear free
when i say image free what do i mean? lets say i have a role to fulfill - a role of a student. actually lets spice it up. i have a role of faculty to play. that role itself has an image, an expectation. i need to do this, not do that etc... some of this expectation is self created, some created by others/environment. in the name of not having an image, can i choose to ignore these expectations and act willy nilly?
ReplyDeleteTo me, it would be a gross 'misuse' if we were to take the concept of not having an image as an excuse to stop 'growing' or as a licence to do just as we please....without any worry of the expected outcome.
ReplyDeleteAlso, there is a difference between being image free, and having a goal. As a faculty, I can have or rather should have my own set of goals, but I need not have or work from an image of one. There is a difference in the two....which leads to two different outcomes.