Mind what you say....I just learnt it the hard way!!

The other day both the kids were being a bit too demanding...want this, want that types. I kept my cool, but couldn't resist doing a bit of lecturegiri on how we need to be grateful for what we have and the wise policy is to look at people who have lesser than you rather than who have more. Just the next day, when my daughter proudly showed me her test marks...she had got 15 on 20 and she was absolutely elated. In my excitement too I blurted out...what was the highest ( I have been struggling with this horrible habit for some time now )...and she just stared at me in the face and said " mum, I am going to tell u what was the Lowest...and not the highest!! Well, the lowest was 6 and ........got it!! well, so much for giving gyaan..

If I had a child to raise again........

If I had a child to raise over again,   I would build self-esteem first and my house later, I would finger paint more and point the finger less, I would do less correcting and more connecting, I would take my eyes off my watch and watch more with my eyes, I would care to know less and know to care more, I would stop playing serious and start seriously playing, I would do less tugging and more hugging, I would be firm less often and affirm much more, I would model less about the love of power and, Model more about the power of love.

Are you a cracked pot??

A water bearer in India had two large pots, each hung on each end of a pole which he carried across his neck. One of the pots had a crack in it, and while the other pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water at the end of the long walk from the stream to the master’s house, the cracked pot arrived only half full. For a full two years this went on daily, with the bearer delivering only one and a half pots full of water to his master’s house. Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments, perfect to the end for which it was made. But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection, and miserable that it was able to accomplish only half of what it had been made to do. After two years of what it perceived to be a bitter failure, it spoke to the water bearer one day by the stream. “I am ashamed of myself, and I want to apologize to you.” “Why?” asked the bearer. “What are you ashamed of?” “I have been able, for these past two years, to deliver only half my load because this crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way back to your master’s house. Because of my flaws, you have to do all of this work, and you don’t get full value from your efforts,” the pot said.  The water bearer felt sorry for the old cracked pot, and in his compassion he said, “As we return to the master’s house, I want you to notice the beautiful flowers along the path.”  Indeed, as they went up the hill, the old cracked pot took notice of the sun warming the beautiful wild flowers on the side of the path, and this cheered it some. But at the end of the trail, it still felt bad because it had leaked out half its load, and so again it apologized to the bearer for its failure.  The bearer said to the pot, “Did you notice that there were flowers only on your side of the path, but not on the other pot’s side? That’s because I have always known agout your flaw, and I took advantage of it. I planted flower seeds on your side of the path, and every day while we walk back from the stream, you’ve watered them.  For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate my master’s table. Without you being just the way you are, he would not have this beauty to grace his house.  Moral: Each of us has our own unique flaws. We’re all cracked pots. But if rightly utilized, our flaws become our greatest assets.  

Respect + Trust = Love??

Have been pondering over and playing around with these concepts...respect, Trust and love. My son comes and tells me " Ma, for this week's science test, I will work completely on my own. Don't ask me any questions...don't even take up my work. What say??" Forget saying anything, I was completely dumbstruck!! 2 things stared at me: 1. I had full confidence in his ability to do so. I was actually pleased with the confidence he was showing. Kind of respected his decision making ability. 2. Then, almost simultaneously another thought occured: Is he doing/saying this only to cut short his work? In other words I was mis trusting his decision,kind of doubting his intentions. although I still respected his ability to do. After playing around with these thoughts for a couple of more days, I made a concious effort to start trusting whatever he says: If he said I packed my bag, I accepted. If he said, I did my h/w, I accepted. If he said, I said my prayers, I accepted. What did this do to me?? Firstly, i was at complete peace...didn't realise how easy it was actually to be at peace. Just beleive!! What did this do to my son?? Aha!! thats the juicy part...coming up in part 2!! Stay tuned!!

~Self esteem

My 8 yr old was making a collage on I am special. After initial brainstorming, she sat to fill in the bubbles that we had created: I am....I like....my hobbies....etc. To my amazement she could not think of any thing for I am.....So I prompted her with a couple of adjectives (I know, I know, later I regretted doing i!! ) and her answer amazed me even more...Mummy, those are names that others call me....I don't think I am like that. She came up with her own 'images' for her self. Her clarity on what she is and what others think of her, really surprised me.