Self Importance V/s Self Esteem

One of the issues faced by this generation of parents is the feeling of ingratitude that some of us receive from our kids. Am sure, we have all heard this statement from mums n dads, " No matter, how much we do, it doesn"t seem enough" or " My child tells me, I am supposed to do these things for him/her" or somethings similar....which basically gives the feeling that children feel/think that its no big deal whatever parents are doing for them....simply because they deserve it.

In this context, I want to share a part of this book "The Anger Habit in Parenting "by Carl Semmelroth. It says here:

"Self Importance is made up of the persistent belief that others owe it to you to solve your problems. It grows from the belief that you deserved what was given to you.

Self Esteem is made up of the persistent beleif that you can find your own solutions to your problems. It grows from the belief that obstacles can be overcome.

In order to change children's self importance, we must change our own behaviour. First, we must get over our anger at their self important demands. Anger merely leaves self important children with the feeling that they have been cheated. They do feel that their parents owe them that. When their parents attack them, they react in a way that anyone would, who is owed something. Instead of being paid, they are attacked by their debtor. In other words, they act very much the same as their parents are acting- angrily."