Maaz, who is now well passed his 11th birthday, has been pestering me to give him regular pocket money. When I realized I could put it off no further, we mutually agreed upon Rs. 50 on the first Sunday of the month.
As soon as he got his first pocket money, he planned up how he was going to spend it and how much he would save up to buy the ear phones that he has been wanting for some time now ( we had agreed that this was going to come out of "his" money).
Soon enough he wanted to know how he could speed up the process of collecting money.
"Will you give me money, if I do household chores?" he asked one day.
Initially I was not sure what to say....would it be the right thing to do to reward him with money.....would that be bribing.....won't he get into the habit of doing things for others only if he was getting back something? On the other hand, in daily life, isn't this a natural phenomenon? Is it not usual for people to get paid back in cash or kind for atleast a part of the things that they do for others? So, would it be that wrong a thing, if I were to "pay" him for a few chores that he did? After all, he is working for it!!
Anyways, at that time I was not sure, so I just told him I'll answer that tomorrow. The next day I was still not sure!! But on the spur of the moment, I had an idea! I said " You do whatever work you want to do, sometimes I may ask you to do somethings, but YOU decide if you want to get 'paid ' for it or you'll do it Just like that!( he knows the fish story :) )
Now, he was confused!! Initially though he was happy, he said "Of course I'll take money".
And that's what he did too....for the first few chores. And then just when I thought I made a bad decision, he surprised me one day by doing something just like that!
Later that day, I asked him how he was feeling about his decision. He just smiled and hugged me and said it felt nice, he was" happy".
I was happy, simply because, my son had on his own discovered the joy of giving. Somewhere I know he must have also realized that money, though a means of satisfaction,, is nowhere close to the joy experienced by doing things for others simply....for no return whatsoever...for doing just like that!!
As soon as he got his first pocket money, he planned up how he was going to spend it and how much he would save up to buy the ear phones that he has been wanting for some time now ( we had agreed that this was going to come out of "his" money).
Soon enough he wanted to know how he could speed up the process of collecting money.
"Will you give me money, if I do household chores?" he asked one day.
Initially I was not sure what to say....would it be the right thing to do to reward him with money.....would that be bribing.....won't he get into the habit of doing things for others only if he was getting back something? On the other hand, in daily life, isn't this a natural phenomenon? Is it not usual for people to get paid back in cash or kind for atleast a part of the things that they do for others? So, would it be that wrong a thing, if I were to "pay" him for a few chores that he did? After all, he is working for it!!
Anyways, at that time I was not sure, so I just told him I'll answer that tomorrow. The next day I was still not sure!! But on the spur of the moment, I had an idea! I said " You do whatever work you want to do, sometimes I may ask you to do somethings, but YOU decide if you want to get 'paid ' for it or you'll do it Just like that!( he knows the fish story :) )
Now, he was confused!! Initially though he was happy, he said "Of course I'll take money".
And that's what he did too....for the first few chores. And then just when I thought I made a bad decision, he surprised me one day by doing something just like that!
Later that day, I asked him how he was feeling about his decision. He just smiled and hugged me and said it felt nice, he was" happy".
I was happy, simply because, my son had on his own discovered the joy of giving. Somewhere I know he must have also realized that money, though a means of satisfaction,, is nowhere close to the joy experienced by doing things for others simply....for no return whatsoever...for doing just like that!!
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