My daughter, Zoya, all of 8 yrs, had a major "crisis" in her life.!!
She is invited to one of her good friend's birthday party tmrw and at the very same time she has a class to attend which she has been waiting for and does not wish to miss. There is no way she can do both...she must choose one. So what does she do??
After the matter actually sunk in her head, and after she was through the initial stage of "If only's" ....she looked at me with great expectation and said " Mum, you decide, What should I do?! "
Ofcourse, I flatly refused to decide for her She soon realised that life can't be so easy...she would have to decide for herself..And I completely enjoyed myself just watching how her mind was constantly weighing the pros and cons of each situation. Infact, she was totally involved and engrossed. While eating she would blurt out one reason why she should go for the party and then while playing , comes back running to me with a fantastic reason of attending the class. This went on through most of the day.
To me , it meant that a child , not only is fully capable to make decisions , but in fact can get as engrossed in it as any adult....as long as the adult allows it to happen. It also shows how often, we are ready to pass the buck, just so that we do not have to leave our comfort zones. Yes, kids too can cling on and resist stepping into challenges, in order to avoid the struggle and frustration involved in it. Thats where the adult must resist the temptation to offer a helicopter ride to the top of the mountain.
It also made me grieve for the number of times that in my eagerness to help, I have ruined such golden opportunities to allow my child to grow and learn the art of decision making.
Well, a whole day passed by, without any decision being taken....but irrespective of what she decides to do, I am happy that I could now enjoy this state of uncomfortability...in my child and myself!!
She is invited to one of her good friend's birthday party tmrw and at the very same time she has a class to attend which she has been waiting for and does not wish to miss. There is no way she can do both...she must choose one. So what does she do??
After the matter actually sunk in her head, and after she was through the initial stage of "If only's" ....she looked at me with great expectation and said " Mum, you decide, What should I do?! "
Ofcourse, I flatly refused to decide for her She soon realised that life can't be so easy...she would have to decide for herself..And I completely enjoyed myself just watching how her mind was constantly weighing the pros and cons of each situation. Infact, she was totally involved and engrossed. While eating she would blurt out one reason why she should go for the party and then while playing , comes back running to me with a fantastic reason of attending the class. This went on through most of the day.
To me , it meant that a child , not only is fully capable to make decisions , but in fact can get as engrossed in it as any adult....as long as the adult allows it to happen. It also shows how often, we are ready to pass the buck, just so that we do not have to leave our comfort zones. Yes, kids too can cling on and resist stepping into challenges, in order to avoid the struggle and frustration involved in it. Thats where the adult must resist the temptation to offer a helicopter ride to the top of the mountain.
It also made me grieve for the number of times that in my eagerness to help, I have ruined such golden opportunities to allow my child to grow and learn the art of decision making.
Well, a whole day passed by, without any decision being taken....but irrespective of what she decides to do, I am happy that I could now enjoy this state of uncomfortability...in my child and myself!!
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